Does EMDR Make You Relive the Trauma? Note from an EMDR therapist in Colorado Springs

One of the most common concerns people have when considering EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is this: "Will I have to relive my trauma?"

It's a valid and important question—especially for those who have experienced painful, overwhelming, or deeply distressing events. If you're thinking about starting EMDR, it's helpful to know what the process actually involves and how it differs from traditional "talk therapy."

EMDR Helps You Process—Not Re-Traumatize

EMDR is designed to help people reprocess traumatic memories in a way that is healing, not overwhelming. While it does involve briefly accessing a traumatic memory, you do not have to relive it in full detail or speak about it at length for it to work. I also let clients know that they can tell me as little or as much as they want about the memory.

In fact, many people are surprised by how contained and manageable the process feels.

🧠 How EMDR Works

EMDR works by stimulating the brain’s natural processing system—often through bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones—while the person recalls a disturbing memory in the presence of an empathic, attuned, and responsive therapist.

This allows the memory to be reprocessed and “unstuck” from the emotional and physiological response it once triggered. After successful EMDR processing, the memory often feels distant, less charged, or like "something that happened" rather than something that continues to happen emotionally.

What You Don’t Have to Do in EMDR

• You don’t have to describe the trauma in detail to your therapist. A general “headline” of the memory is usually enough.

• You don’t have to re-experience the trauma as if it’s happening again. The goal is to notice what comes up and allow your brain to reprocess—not to get stuck in reliving it.

• You don’t have to do it alone. A trained EMDR therapist will guide you through the process with structure, care, and grounding strategies. There are new do-it-yourself websites coming out for EMDR, but one of the key components to re-processing trauma is not having to do it alone. Dr. Gabor Mate frequently emphasizes that trauma is not just what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of overwhelming experiences, especially when you're left alone with your pain. So why would we try to heal alone?

Safety First: Resourcing and Preparation

Before starting any trauma reprocessing, EMDR includes resourcing—a phase of therapy that helps you feel safe, supported, and grounded. You and your therapist will develop internal tools like a calm place, protective imagery, or nurturing figures to use during the process if things feel intense.

This preparation ensures that when you touch the memory, you do so from a supported and regulated state—not from a place of emotional chaos.

What Clients Often Say

After EMDR, many clients say things like:

“I still remember what happened, but it doesn’t hijack me anymore.” “It feels like it’s in the past now.” “I finally got unstuck.” "It's weird, but it just doesn't bother me as much right now."

These shifts happen because EMDR doesn’t just revisit trauma—it helps your mind and body release it.

Bottom Line

Yes, EMDR involves gently accessing traumatic memories—but it is not about reliving trauma. It’s about healing it.

If you're curious about EMDR, know that the process is structured, compassionate, and tailored to your readiness. You’ll never be pushed to go further than what feels safe.

Interested in EMDR therapy? At Dynamic Counseling, our trauma-informed therapists are trained in EMDR and offer a calm, supportive environment to help you heal at your own pace. Andrea Kirby specializes in virtual EMDR in Colorado and New Mexico, and Whitney Hancock provides EMDR in the office in Colorado Springs.